FAM.M FEMALE.

 

I found out my father was on drugs on the day of his graduation of becoming clean, when I was a teenager. I didn't even realize he was on drugs because he was always there for me. My mom and dad were not a couple anymore therefore I had to visit my dad on weekends. My dad always picked me up on time and gave me everything that I asked for. I didn't realize he was on drugs all this time. When I was a teenager I started hanging with my friends which meant less visits with my dad. I still would come and visit during the weekday but it was usually to pick up money and go back home. One day my aunt called me and asked me if I wanted to go to my dad graduation with her. I said yes thinking it was a graduation from school or something. When I got in my aunt car she started telling me about this graduation we were on our way to. My aunt said you know your dad was on drugs right. I had no idea he was on drugs. She began telling me how my dad was stealing from her and other people to get drugs. I sat there and listened to all the stories she was telling. I still didn't understand it because I thought if you were on drugs you was suppose to look a certain way. My dad didn't look like the people I use to see that was on drugs maybe that is why I didn't think he was on drugs. When we got to the graduation I seen my dad and he looked great. I was really excited for him. I was still proud to be his daughter. After the graduation my aunt drove me home and we were talking. I think I didn't realize my dad was on drugs because I was so excited about going to get money from him to hang out with my friends that I didn't even notice what he looked like. I remember one day I came to pick up money from him and his jeans were filthy. I thought to myself why is my father walking around with them dirty jeans on, but I remember him taking me to his job with him and his job was a dirty place so I’m thinking maybe he came to meet me straight from work. After the graduation I started thinking back and realizing he was on drugs all that time I just wasn't aware of it. My father being on drugs didn't affect me in any way because like I said I didn't even know he was on drugs. If I knew he was on drugs my life would have probably been different, but everything happens for a reason and god doesn't give you more than you can handle and only god knows what I can handle and maybe that would have been too much for me to handle. My father has been clean for years and I loved him then and still love him now.

 

FAM.M MALE.

On august 27, 1953. My kid brother was born. we where very close as we grew up together. Some where from that point, my younger brother became a drug addict. My mother, and I tried to be of help to him, where his father was trying to just kick him out on the streets of New York City. He just didn't care what happen to him. So for the next 30/40 years, my kid brother was on drugs. At one time in that area, I would follow him, trying to keep him from drugs. Braking down doors of his friends. Even tried getting him into a drug rehab. He refused that treatment. He joined a 12 step program, we would sit in the kitchen and talk about it, until our mother broke that up. She thought talking about herself was more important, then him. He had a girlfriend, I didn't care to much about, because she was a user also. as time went on, I introduce him to a wonderful young lady, who wanted to meet him. Who knew? At the time, it was the best thing that could have ever happen for him. I didn't. She helped, or maybe made him get cleaned up. I really don't know. But I'm very happy for him. She took a kid, from nothing, and made a real man of him. Very proud of him, and her. My thinking. If not for God, the 12 step program and her, he wouldn't be living today. From your brother. Johnny

 

FAM.M FEMALE.

Living with substance abuse can be very difficult. Even though I wasn't the one abusing subscription medication, my sister was. My whole family was in a state of shock, because you really truly don’t know how to feel or handle this family member.In the beginning I think we were in denial. We listened to her stories knowing they were lies. However, when we confronted her with the truth, all we heard was more lies. As time went on and her condition got worse, we avoid being around her. I would get so angry, seeing her waste her life away. We started to uninvited her to family events, and when she was in the hospital we would stop going to see her because we knew she was there because she wanted more pills. Things got worse of course, she lost her car, home, and job. She was even homeless for a while but that didn't stop the abuse. My mother tried admitting her into hospitals and different programs to help her but of course she still abused drugs. I have to mention the many car wrecks and arrests; she experienced all because she wanted to be high all the time.Then after about 5 years she just decided to quit. And she is one year clean today. After this experience I have realized a person on drugs has to want to help them Selves. No matter how much you try to help them. It doesn't matter to them, nothing matters but that drug. So leave a drug abuser alone let them hit rock bottom, because that’s the only way they will wake up one day and realize there is more to life than drugs.

 

FAM.M TEEN FEMMALE.

My mom was an addict. She was addicted to prescription pain killers. I remember one time when I came home with a friend, and she was high. She was screaming and saying she was going to die. I was so scared that I called 911. When the police came she snapped out of it. They asked me if I had someone to go to just in case they needed to detain her or take her to the hospital. I told them that I didn't and they said that I should stay home and take care of my mom. I don’t think I've ever prayed so hard in my life. I asked God why mom was doing this, why this had to happen to my family. I had to stay with my cousin that weekend. When I found out what was happening with her I was so ashamed. I thought she didn't love me anymore. I wanted to find out why she was doing this, why she didn't care enough about me, her family, or even herself to stop. She wasn't working and we had to live with my grandmother. I remember one night when I couldn't sleep, and I heard my grandma yelling at my mom. She was telling her that if she kept it up she would be homeless. That’s exactly what happened. My mom had to live in a shelter. I would only see her from time to time. I heard that she was planning to move to New Jersey, and she wanted to take me with her. I wrote her a note that told her how I felt and that if she was serious about going to New Jersey I didn't want to go with her. I think that made her realize the severity of the situation. For a while I didn't see my mom. One day she came over to my grandma’s house and she said she was staying with a friend. I knew where she was so I was able to visit her more. After a while I found out she was in a rehab program and I was so proud. She was 2 months clean, then 6 months, now she is 1 year clean and I couldn't be more proud of her. This story is not the only one out there. Many people get addicted to drugs and don’t live to get help even if they want it. If you or anyone you know has an addiction the best thing that you can do for them is be there and support them. Getting addicted is easy breaking that habit is the hard part. If you or someone you know is addicted to anything be sure they know that there is help, and there is support and help any time you need it.

 

FAM.M FEMALE.

 

MY LIFE WITH MY DAUGHTER, AS A DRUG USER It all started after the Gastric by- pass in 2005. She was 387 lbs. She was doing well, and loss down to a size 14. At this time, it was discovered, she had thyroid cancer. Believing she was going to die, she became addicted to alcohol. After 3 or 4 more operations, the addictions was alcohol and Oxycontin. So I retired in 2009 from my $87,000 job to come to Virginia to take care of her daughter. Well at this point I thought, if she didn’t get her pain medicine, she would die from withdrawal. I sometimes brought her prescription at $400.00, while I was paying her rent $735.00, her car insurance, and I paid her car off. I don’t regret what I did, I know now I was enabling her. Through her long addiction, which included Xanax and Ambien, I decided to move her in with me. It was just cheaper. She had many surgeries do to the gastric by-pass. Pain medicines just increased in mg. The addiction became unbearable for me. In 2011 I put her out. Now, she is in a homeless shelter at night and still coming home in the day. I no longer could watch her at night. She was dropping lighted cigarettes burnt my bedding and rugs. It was so bad falling in the house, having to call 911, so much, my apartment management sent me and eviction notice. After being in the shelter, she came across an apartment, which I paid $1500. She got into a NA 12 step program 12/12/12 (Dec 12, 2012), and she has been clean since. My story is I spent my entire 401k $120,000 praying to GOD if it takes every dime I had to get her back so be it. Well it worked. I feel I am still working in her recovery and she is my daughter for life.

 

RA. FEMALE.

The word says, "I thought it good to declare the signs and wonders, that the most high God has worked for me." So because of this, I will declare what the Lord has begun to do in my life. I say begun because the work he has begun will not be completed until the day he returns for me, on that day I will be his exceptional, extraordinary , work of art. Praise God. Well I will begin with over 25 years ago. Born and raise in a christian home from the age of 6. When I reached the age of 18 I began to get involved with all sorts of dealers. Through a boyfriend at the time, and then later to become my live in boyfriend for 8 years, I met all kinds of dealers and began to experiment with all types of drugs. I turned my back on the Lord and the life I had known since I was a child. All to follow this man who was suppose to love me so.I was so caught up with all these people, with money and glamour. Only the best places to eat and best hotels, and best clothes. I was totally blinded by it all. My home became a supermarket for selling only heavy weight in drugs. The enemy had me so wrapped up and blinded by all of this, that when I opened my eyes over 25 years had passed and I was still in deep..I had dug myself so deep that I couldn't get out. That is when I remembered, what I had learned in church when I was growing up. I had heard that God never forsakes us. That he never turns his back on us. That he will reach down to where ever you are and pull you out. That God was love..... So I began to call out his name and ask him to help me out of the whole I was in. That is when he heard my plea, and in his mercy rescued me. Not because I deserved it, but because he is love and he love me!!!. Now but for his grace and mercy I find myself for the last 11 years serving him. Declaring his love and mercy and miracles. He has lifted me, he has restored me, he has transformed me , he has saved me, and has put my feet on solid ground.. This is what God can do for you!! He is not a myth, he is real! And he loves you and wants to save you. If you would only allow him into your hearts,and accept him as your personal savior. So I challenge you today, to try my God. You who has no where else to go. You who has hit rock bottom. You who feels has noting left to live for. I invite you to take the challenge and try him! I promise you will never regret it. God bless you.

 

RA. FEMALE.

My story behind my pain and in front of my addiction starts similar to most with a familiar story and ends different than many because its " my" story. My addiction like most comes from an gene passed down to me I've related it to having an addictive nature. My family tree is a crazy Lineage of drinks prostitutes and alcoholics. Party's where alcohol filled events. Holidays where drowned with laughter and wine. Most of all my nights were embodied with guilt rejection and shame. Much to my surprise the family skeletons were not in the closets but right next to me . That's rather scary for a child to endure. By the time I was a teen ager every circumstance was heightened times ten, and the same child hood problems where now teenager problems. Only this time I found a band aide for them, Food... And lots of it!!! I was to immature to be seeking an outlet for my feelings to do anything else about it. So eating was now my go to, it listened to me quietly with no feed back, no judging me, it just comforted my mind with a solace unspoken to. As the wheels of my life kept turning 10 more years flew by and now I was a 25 year old mother of 2, a divorced wife, and a strong minded, newly independent, career woman, in a unfamiliar state trying to make ends meet alone at 365 lbs!!! I guess food wasn't the right path after all!!! Thinking of what's going to better my life, what's going to help my career be the nest egg of my future, in the fastest way possible,,???? Gastric bypass surgery!! Whooooo hoooo I'm going to be skinny and problem free!!! Welp at 160 lbs lighter and almost 2 years later the same problems and heartfelt issues never moved changed or got any better. Time didn't wait for me. It just kept on ticking away and now my weekend pleasures became everyday every night when ever no ones looking at me too hard, unresolved burdens that ate away at my brain every chance it could! Alcohol had become my New Best Friend, for the same reasons food stuck around so long!! As usual once again life stepped up to the plate and smacked the shit out if me to get real with it all. so out of shear resentment I had to find a new outlet that wasn't drinking. With all of my many surgery a that took place during the years of my manic episodes and crazy turns of events, I had been diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer! CANCER!!! That word was all I processed when my doctor told me the news at my bedside post opp.from my thyroidectomy. In my brain I was just given a death sentence! Weight, money, family, love, hope, faith, dreams, wishes, and my happiness went out the door with the doctor when she left my side. Pretty sad huh, this began my love for pain killers, my panic attracts worsened so thus began my Rx for xanex and mood stabilizers. My lack of sleep began my insomnia meds, and tranquilizers. I had a Pharmacy bag of tricks that helped me do anything I wanted and fast! My life style shifted to a one way decline strait to poverty and desperation. The only bad thing was, I didn't care, I really could careless about who,what, when, where, why or how anyone saw me! I was going to die happy if it was the last thing I was gonna do!. Well we all know the rest of that long hard story.. What seemed to be an eternity, turned out to be 3 more years of more Heartache & Pain. I was given a final diagnoses of cancer free cells and enzymes that shook up my whole world like a snow globe with all the pretty white confetti flying everywhere. Yet now my addiction was already in full swing! After a long bought with it all, even a strong look of death in my face wasn't enough to make me stop. There wasn't an object on the planet that could save me from the distraction I'd brought on myself. Low and behold I had a dream that I had nothing, no house, car, job, child, man, customers, family nor friends, in my Life. When I woke up from this horrible dream looked around and I wasn't in my dream anymore but my life was even emptier than the dream. My soul was gone. I had to fix my worthless pile of life's Shit, before i could move All Thanks be to My Higher Power!!!!! Only My higher-power could keep me covered by the shielding blood of God!!! Now the longer story is very short & sweet. My Recovery is still burning Is little light in my soul. I'm currently 438 days clean! I actually smile when I'm happy! I really cry when I'm sad! Low and behold my love is back in my heart and my passion for hair is a blinding sight, I'm still the bomb!! My creativity has set the hair styling industry a new high. God has never left my side from day one. My choices in life has given me a testimony like no other!!! Without God, my support system, my FCCR Family, My Home Group Family, NA 12 step program and The Unconditional Love from the one person who has stood reluctantly right by my side, My Mother. I couldn't have mad it threw the bad or good times without. I'd be "a dead Turkey" on Thanksgiving! Today I can hold my head up high, & keep looking towards the sky, I'm giving my life a well needed try, and now all I can say is thank you Jesus for not leaving my side! I love me today. I can breath not just exhale today. My life is striving in a brand new way, and I'm loving it with every step I make!!! I Love You Uncle Tweedie! I'm sorry it's late but it's a good scribe from my heart.

 

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